By Gina Sisca Hazlett
When Susan Parmelee asked me to write a guest Wellness & Prevention column the answer was an easy yes. The Wellness & Prevention Coalition was established to bring resources together that support healthy youth and families in South Orange County. As the Program Coordinator for Because I Love You (BILY) San Clemente chapter, I value my involvement with the coalition as the missions of the two organizations align and we work together to bring valuable resources to the community.
My personal involvement with BILY began in 2011, observing the BILY San Diego chapter with the goal of launching a group here in my hometown of San Clemente. I have personally witnessed the great need as exemplified by the words of a local parent, “BILY has quite literally changed my life, my marriage and the lives of our kids. It all had to start with the changes I needed to make to be healthier and more effective.”
If you are a parent struggling with an adult child not moving through life or maybe a younger child who is headed in the wrong direction displaying attitudes of entitlement, disrespect or substance abuse, Because I Love You (BILY) Parent Support Group can help. Our meetings are a safe, confidential place for you to acquire the tools and support to establish structure and find the strength to work to develop healthy, cooperative family relationships.
BILY is an action-based program built upon 10 basic principles which equip parents with constructive ideas in creating a peaceful home. During the weekly meetings, trained leaders work with parents to develop a personalized plan for their particular household and provide guidance as how to respond differently to their child’s behavior. The principles of BILY are designed to promote structure and consistency on the part of the parent and responsibility and accountability on the part of the child.
It is important to note that the principles of BILY also provide a pathway of healthy living for the parent. If practiced as a way of life, they outline the means by which parents will be able to meet other difficulties in life, as well. Many have seen in them a way to happy and effective living outside the family dynamics which initially brought them to the program. They are simple, yet if practiced with consistency, are powerfully effective. The principles are as follows:
- I will be number one.
- I will no longer feel guilty.
- I will not share in my child’s crisis.
- I will learn to let go.
- I will make the rules.
- I will follow through.
- I will keep the lines of communication open.
- I will avail my family of resources and materials.
- I will work towards a more realistic family life.
- I will become active in a parent support group.
BILY has proved itself successful for many participants. Knowing you are not alone in your struggle, and being able to walk away with strategies to implement immediately, sets the program apart.
BILY is offered free of charge to those who are ready, willing and open to receive guidance in dealing with family crisis. We are here to help. If you feel we can support you or just want to learn more, please attend an orientation meeting.
The Wellness & Prevention Coalition meetings are open to the public at 3:30PM on the 2nd Tuesday of each month at the Wellness & Prevention Center, 189 Avenida La Cuesta, San Clemente 92673.
Gina Sisca Hazlett has lived in San Clemente her entire life and founded BILY SC in 2015. www.bilysc.org bilysanclemente@gmail.org